July 14, 2024

This past week, circumstances brought me to the local California DMV without an appointment. The building was highly digitalized, complete with QR codes, text messages involving more codes, a large mounted screen flashing upcoming alphabetic/numerical coded-clients, alphabetized staff cubicles, a triage gatekeeper worthy of an ER, and of course we, the drivers, lined up and then seated in rows before the screens and counters. I knew I'd have to wait, but that kind of waiting is always an opportunity for meditation, especially a meditation on waiting itself, which is my subject today. One of my favorite Buddhist quotes is from Hermann Hesse's novel Siddhartha. In the story, circumstances eventually lead the future Buddha, Siddhartha, to seek a job. The potential employer questions Siddhartha about his "credentials" for the job and Siddhartha replies simply : "I can think, I can wait, and I can fast." I have written various pieces on that powerful quote, as condensed attributes of the spiritual life. At the DMV, "I can wait" was at the top of theses skills.

Meditation in a packed room of"strangers" is quite different than meditation in your own quiet, dedicated space and practice. The waiting space at DMV was vibrant with activity. Along with the visual pull of the large screen with number codes displaying changing rounds of applicants, a second screen flashed California public programs, while code numbers were simultaneously announced by a robot voice. Those waiting were a cross section of American life with multiple languages, styles, ages, and handicaps. An elderly man sitting next to me was watching a movie on his cell phone, volume full on!. I was prepared for the wait, but rather than sit with my work I brought or my book, I chose meditation to have a moment to acclimate. No one seemed to notice my closed eyes, quiet breath, or stillness. The screen rotations and announcements carried on shifted; the noisy cellphone movie continued. In meditation, the sounds were no longer a nuisance. I was waiting for my turn.

Meditation comes in infinite forms. Reflecting on how meditation has changed for me over the years, I realized one of the biggest shifts s came when I stopped orchestrating some inner event or experience. Rather, sitting has become a gentle shift to what I can only call the meditative mind as it moves away from the calculating mind. The calculating mind is a mind that plans and maneuvers, it designs, interprets and judges. It "adds things up", that is, it reaches conclusions. It is a significant aspect of human intelligence, often self-serving. Over the years, my sense of meditative mind has changed from an abstract emptiness, or a thought stopping stillness, to a kind of waiting. It is like the way you wait for a friend that you know is on the way, and will soon walk through the door. Or while sitting with a friend, you wait for them to speak, because you sense they have something to tell you, and you don't want to disrupt, or take over the conversation. Or, when all conversation has stopped, you simply share a connection. The calculating mind may still hang around and intrude, but it can be spotted and gently silenced.

The patience to wait develops over years of observation. You discover answers, guidance, direction, connections, are not obligated to only reveal themselves in mediation. Times of turning inward can yield unexpected clarity and serendipitous events later, while out in the bustle of everyday life. So the conversations around me, the robotic announcements, the cell phone movie's voices next to me, don't matter. It's all life. The quiet center speaks through all, navigates around all, or waits its turn--later today, tomorrow, months, years from now. This is the fabric of life in which we all have our part--wherever you are headed today, or this week, you are an aspect of that fabric. All the upheaval of recent events are also aspects of that fabric. Meditation gives us the where-with-all to move with the flow of life. It brings the patience, trust, expectation, directive that requires going with, rather than arguing against, or fighting, resisting and/or ignoring the movement of Life. We can wait.

For poetry: https://allpoetry.com/.../8625707-Life-by-Juan-Ramon-Jimenez

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../Isaidtomysou/index.html

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../NowIBecomeMy/index.html

July 7, 2024

The first week in July 2024 has been turbulent, coming on the heels of the Presidential debate with all its controversy and aftermath, exuberant 4th of July celebrations amid extreme heat across the Southwest (and world), and the earliest-forming Category 5 Atlantic hurricane on record, Beryl. Here outside L.A., we watched the local 4th of July parade with kids, flags, streamers and candy give-aways, marching bands and local officials --a definite throwback to small town life, affirming strong roots and a stable future despite the 90 degree heat. While personal fireworks are banned, surrounding cities sponsored fireworks that boomed late into the night. Friday brought heavy traffic; Saturday turned still. That stillness seemed to deepen in the silence of meditation.

The stillness brought to my mind the Biblical passage, Kings 19, 11-13. The prophet Elijah, fearing for his life in a religious/political war, hides in a wilderness cave. God tells him to come out in the open as He passes by. As Elijah starts, there is a tremendous wind that shatters the mountain rocks, but God was not in the wind. "After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. After the fire, there came a still small voice. 13 When Elijah heard it, he covered his face with his coat and went out and stood at the entrance to the cave. Then a voice said to him, “Elijah! Why are you here?”

The story continues with Elijah's new mission, but the power of this passage, metaphysically, is the still quiet directive of the inner 'voice' that matters, not the drama which fed Elijah further fear. It is the inner voice within, in a time of withdraw into stillness, after all the spectacle, that leads him out of the cave and back to place his part in life. The inner voice challenges him to remember the part he has been given in unfolding events, "Elijah! Why are you here?" On one level a fearful Elijah is hiding in the cave; on another level, he has withdrawn in spiritual solitude, to seek guidance for his next move. Can both be true? Yes, we live as people in a delicate world of culture and human society, but we remain expressions of a greater unfoldment of Life Itself.

This week I also came across my copy of Garrison Keillor's poetry anthology: Good Poems for Hard Times, which seemed fitting for this week. It's a mix of complaint and upliftment, the material world and it's difficulties and joys, along with existential and transcendent resolve. The poetry links below are poems from that volume that speak of both levels. Consider today and as you read them, your inner response to the question, "why are you here?" this July 2024. (Susan Nettleton)

For Poetry, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse...

https://allpoetry.com/The-Planet-On-The-Table https://exceptindreams.wordpress.com/.../24/254-the-future/

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/14511/just-now/

June 30, 2024

This last week in June as summer deepens in an uncertain climate, I have been reflecting further on the our physical senses and the relationship of our sense nature to spirituality. Many religious teachings throughout world history have shunned our natural senses in a belief that love of the sensuous distracts us from the true depths of spirituality. Still today, we have ideas that meditation requires us to turn away from external sights, sounds and movement that distract the mind's focus from turning inward. While meditation does move us from outer activity to inner stillness, it really isn't necessary to run from sense input. Rather, I propose considering meditation as a process that moves our awareness to more and more subtle expressions of vision, scent, sound, touch and taste. The idea that we have to turn from the physical input of an external world to experience intuition and/or the true nature of the self, sets in motion a polarized belief that our sense nature and the natural world around us, is somehow at odds with our inner life, making it spiritually necessary to be detached from our physical form.

Ancient religions in an attempt to access and connect to spiritual realms with little understanding of the neurophysiology of the human body, drew a dividing line between our outer senses and our inner longing for understanding. Buddha taught in terms of the problem of attachment to the things of the world, which themselves are in motion. In other words, those attachments are inevitably subject to change. Wanting more of whatever pleasurable experiences we have, or emotional reliance on those aspects of life which we grow to crave at the expense of other ways of seeing and being, ultimately brings suffering. These are indeed potential pitfalls in life--not allowing life to change or develop--or even age, which is the nature of life. My focus today is about opening to the wondrous beauty of that which allows us to perceive and relate to the Allness. I am encouraging you to bring your physical senses to the table as it were, to more and more subtle forms of awareness.

I began reflecting on the more subtle aspects of sense this week at the grocery store. As I eyed the snack shelves, I was struck by a growing pitch for "intense" snack experiences--labels like intense "heat" or "flavor", and intense beverages -from soda to alcohol to caffeine! With the obvious exception of pure hot chili peppers, this marketing trend brings a variety of lab generated additives. It is not just food and the sense of taste here that is exploited, but a push for intense stories, news, films, music, the sharp and demanding push of our bodies in sports and fitness calling you to feel the burn. But, do we need increasingly intense experiences? Evidently, intensity is good for marketing. And clever marketing feeds a cultural pressure that offers bonding through both sensory challenges and competition, especially among the young who have yet to develop caution.

My reflection on the subtle senses brought to mind French philosopher François Julien's book: In Praise of Blandness (2007), which explores the early Chinese Taoist practice of cultivating sensory experiences of blandness. Blandness was perceived as a way to move toward sameness, and through that, understand the "undifferentiated foundation of all things". In other words, the Tao, the undifferentiated energy of life, brings the 10,000 things into form. I invite you to experiment with your senses on subtler levels. Inner hearing is not disconnected from the outer sounds of the world; the same is true with taste, vision, touch (the touch of spirit, the touch of God, the angelic touch), with scent (the air that brings a mysterious whiff of perfume), a song arising and awakening, and sound that echos the past--or future... This is not to cultivate the "extra sensory", but to discover the larger frame of guidance and relatedness of a larger world. (Susan Nettleton)

for poetry: https://allpoetry.com/Five-Senses

https://ortizpoetry.blogspot.com/.../12/my-fathers-song.html https://www.best-poems.net/mary.../at_blackwater_pond.html https://www.poetryfoundation.org/.../hearing-56d221d141610

June 23, 2024

It was a fairly simple moment Friday evening, as I parked my car in my usual curb parking spot, and felt the need to sit still in the front seat...just stop and be still. I wasn't really meditating, but I've been a meditator for so long, that just sitting "on pause" for a moment sparks a meditation connection. I looked down the tree lined street that brought shade while the Heat Wave--or Southern California's share of it--scorches the country. These trees arch high above the electrical wires; curved branches on the south-side meet mirroring branches on the north side, while dropping purple blossoms in a slight breeze. They give peaceful shelter for birds, squirrels, raccoons, lizards, tiny life forms, insects. There is shade for larger animals too, beyond the many dogs (on daily walks with their people friends) and even shade for bears, an occasional mountain lion, or a lean wolf down from the mountain, looking for food. This Friday evening the angle of the sun sprinkled rays of golden light across the clumps of branches. What a view! And for a moment, I was keenly aware of the act of Seeing.

Maybe it was because my eye doctor had recently changed the prescription on my contact lenses, or maybe it was the contrast of the brutal heat lifting when I turned the corner to my shady street, but I was flooded with the sense of sight. What an amazing thing: Seeing. We know that not everyone has sight or full sight. Aging, along with all sorts of life events can dim or damage sight, but I was struck with the sheer wonder that sight exists at all, let alone the addition of our other senses. It is the composite of those other senses that compensate should others fail. As I sat in the car, I shifted briefly to an awareness of evening bird song....listening...but was pulled back to the view. This encounter was really about watching.

Yet, there is a paradox here when we talk of human beings belonging to, or immersed in, the world of nature and the Allness of life, because to 'see' in this way is a distancing of immersion. I remembered a lady from the earlier years of Hillside Church who told me about a sudden realization she had as she prayed for understanding of her spiritual life and her role in it all. An inner voice answered that she was a "witness". This brought her peace. Sitting in the car, I agreed; I was witnessing the Wonder, but I also was witnessing my capacity to see. This is a point of separation. To see is seemingly separation. The tree has become an object; the self, I, "stand" outside the tree, witnessing that Wonder. I thought of the Biblical quote in Genesis 1:31, "And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good." And yet God, the Transcendent, is both Creator and Created. Confounded, our logic moves to separate. Sitting in the car after a day of dust and heat, then the play of light and shadow, coolness of shade and shade as shelter, I saw the Beauty of it all. A tiny part of me in some unfathomable aspect of Divine Vision, rests in All, God, seeing through my eyes, naming it Good and very Good. Today is a day to trust your outer vision. Look. Simply Look. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://poeteecummings.weebly.com/i-thank-you-godpoem.html

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../HowtoSeeaDee/index.html

https://www.yogawithsusana.com/post/the-ponds-by-mary-oliver

June 16, 2024

Today is Fathers Day, the holiday that mirror's Mother Day, completing the traditional parental unit. Like Mother's day, Father's Day has extended to acknowledging the significance of those who express the father-like role of support in our process of growing up and maturing. That extension is particularly meaningful to those who grow up with no father or limited support for meeting basic needs --food, clothing, shelter, health care, essential learning and development of skills--to build the assurance that our lives matter, that we are valued and loved. In the 21st century, with both traditional, or reversed, or shifting male/female roles within family life, and new models of gender fluidity, Father's Day is open for a wide band of interpretation and options. Still, it is worth contemplating this time of year ( Mother's or Father's Day), your own assessment and gratitude for those who have sheltered you, guided and supported you, and contributed to your becoming.

Beyond this, spiritually we have the ancient model of God as Father. While the Divine Mother plays a complementary role in religious thought, the role of "God as Father of us all" remains a deeply entrench model and metaphor. Indeed for those who have had absent fathers, or traumatic loss, or neglect or family violence, the idea of a loving God as your Transcendent Father can be healing. God as the Ultimate creator of all, including human beings, a God who can and does protect, guide and sustains your life, a God who loves Creation and thereby loves You, and returns you to Himself, can bring great Peace. Of course, in our dualistic religious constructs, there are religious teachings that warn that the same God can, with great wrath, punish and reject, if we stray from the rule book or put other things, people, ideas before reverence and love of God. Religious structure can define contractual terms that leave the threat outweighing the benefit. But when spirituality is a matter of the heart, when forgiveness is enfolded in communion with our Highest reaching for the All, naming that Father (or Mother for that matter) repairs the scars of childhood.

There is yet another paradoxical idea of you as father of God. I am not writing of the idea that God is just our fabricated Father figure to comfort our confusion and fear, but as the poet Rilke wrote, in essence we are extensions of God, moving God into form to express, through feelings, through creativity, thereby, expanding the dimensions of life. Our willingness to care and support the expression, livingness, being-ness of God is our "father" role. This is worth contemplating whenever you bring forth something new or you encourage others in their life's expression: This is your or their contribution and support of the magnificence of Life. Even our attempt to put into words our spiritual depths, carries the Mystery of God to fuller expression. We nurture a growing God. Happy Father's Day! (Susan Nettleton)

"...So God, you are the one who comes after. It is sons who inherit, while fathers die. Sons stand and bloom. You are my heir."

from Rilke's Book of Hours, trans. Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy, Riverhead Books, New York, 1996.

Poetry: https://poemsforyourtalisbag.blogspot.com/.../you-god-who... http://www.lifeofasaiseeker.com/.../rilkes-book-of-hours... https://www.thatenglishteacher.com/.../ortizs...

June 9, 2024

Today's post is an excerpt from my Zoom talk this morning on "Spiritual Surrender".

...The common definition of surrender is giving up something; what is that something? It could be an object, a thing, property, relationship, argument-- giving up something that is yours to someone else, with the implication that you have been forced to, or, it is necessary to do so. ... Surrender implies by nuance, conflict. There is an element of loss and/or control in surrender, especially when used in a legal sense. We give up fighting because we are tired of the fighting or we realize the cost of fighting is too great, (that could be legally, financially, or the physical cost of the fight, or emotional cost, mental cost)--it's too much work to keep whatever it is.

Surrender includes admission, but we often, actually give up without admitting to ourselves or anyone else that we have given up and stopped trying. We agree to some conciliatory plan to prevent others from being angry; we agree to get along, and try to not upset them. But is this surrender? Bargaining is another idea--I'll give up this, you give up that, it will work out. Sometimes, we use reasoning to resolve conflict. But here's the spiritual thing, are our conflicts with others, and things, and events, separate from our spiritual life? A separate category? Is spiritual surrender only about our spiritual life? Spiritual surrender is Giving Way. Depending on your construct of spiritual, that can mean giving way to God's will, rather than your will-- but underneath that thought is still a division, a distinct separation of God and person. Alternatively, spiritual surrender assumes the spiritual movement of life that runs through all. In which case, we are giving way to that movement. And where do we locate the movement of life? It's here, right now. Whatever is going on. So there is a time of spiritual surrender that is acceptance of what is happening, whatever it may be. A surrender to movement, flow, and events. In other words, we don't fight daily life.

...Still society's collective consciousness can pull us into fear and/or anger/blame that disturbs our capacity to surrender. Again, Spiritual surrender is not so much about giving in as it is about giving way to life's movement. We face heat and storms, in a season that archetypally is a time when nature offers freedom. Surrender now includes a changing environment, a summer that pushes us to a new awareness: climate can and does change--climate as weather, but also, climate as mass migration, of shifting wildlife, new forms of life and disappearance or disruption of our relationship to the animal world. A changing atmosphere that is not just about weather, but atmosphere in terms of social support, agreement vs conflict, and unrest. The Surrender I am encouraging includes surrendering to a changing environment, as multiple strategies emerge that will have to be negotiated and navigated. We cannot come to breakthroughs without surrendering the past, opening to what is in front of us to do.... I am saying that in surrender, there is support. We tend to think of surrender, especially spiritual surrender as, in a sense, subjugation--a should, a supposed to, subjugating ourselves. But surrender is support. The act of letting go, brings connection. In surrender, we recover connection. In essence, we surrender to our true identity, that by the nature of configuration, we cannot grasp: We are Life itself.

(Susan Nettleton)

for some of this morning's readings: https://www.designingyourlife.coach/.../for-earth-day-in... https://www.poetryfoundation.org/.../the-promise-we-live-by https://www.poetryfoundation.org/.../culture-and-the...

June 7, 2024

Announcement to all!

Hillside will hold a Zoom Service, Sunday, March 24, 2024 with Dr. Susan Nettleton

Topic: Summer Surrender

Date: June 9, 2024

Time: 11:00 AM Mountain Time, 10:00 AM Pacific Time

If you are not on our email list for Zoom service and would like to attend, please email us at Hillsideew@aol.com or through the contact page on our website: Hillsidesource.com or message us on Facebook with your email address.

June 2, 2024

Last week, already on overload with work and family commitments, I was up early to face my "to do" list. As I headed to pull together breakfast, I was suddenly struck how much clutter had accumulated, during the last very busy 3 months. Too much stuff. Spring was passing into summer--whatever happened to the idea of spring cleaning? Caught between the inner pressure to tackle disorder and the need to get to my computer tasks, I suspected I was in avoidance mode. The solution, I told myself, was the 5 item rule--my default cleaning mode. I put away 5 items from the dish drainer, quickly washed the 5 items in my sink, and randomly sorted one bookshelf that was overloaded, tossing 5 unnecessary accumulations. Next my eye caught the build-up on the dresser. Part of me thought "get to the computer, Susan", and another part was drawn to the dresser corner. I succumbed to what felt like further procrastination. Under a pile of notes that I quickly tossed in the trash, I found what my unconscious had been seeking: my buffalo necklace.

The buffalo necklace is a beautiful bronze cast, flat on the back, contoured on the front, with both a pin and a small chain hook, so that it can be worn as either way. It was made by a Winnebago Tribe artist and I found it at an Native American art fair many years ago in the red rocks outside Jemez. I didn't know I was searching for it the day as I wandered through the artists' displays, wanting to buy something, but not sure what. When I saw it on a table of jewelry--mostly turquoise and silver--I was awed by it's detail, and touched it momentarily. Something inside me shook. I walked away, but was hit with waves of tremors--what in yoga is called kriyas, involuntary waves of spiritual energy, a release of kundalini energy. I wandered through the fair until the shaking stopped and I had seen enough. I wanted the buffalo. For me it was a reminder of why I had left Houston when I completed medical school and why I had moved to Albuquerque and a four year psychiatry residency at the University of New Mexico. That decision came in a deep meditation experience along with a vibrant image of buffalo in a fenced field. The next day, the mail brought the UNM residency program booklet, with my buffalo vision on the cover.

When I found my necklace again, buried under the stack of "stuff", I put it on. I meditated and sat down to work with the quiet reminder of my calling and the spiritual ground of being. My point here for your consideration this Sunday, is not just that there's still time for some spring cleaning. Beyond that, I want to remind you that seemingly routine chores of life are not separate from your worldly goals, nor your spiritual path. In the pull to procrastinate, generated by a nagging need to re-establish order, I was led back to the foundation of my life and work. Guidance is everywhere. Even in our resistance. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://literaturevaults.com/spring-cleaning/ https://www.poetryfoundation.org/.../its-hard-to-keep-a... And from Larry Morris: "June is the Joy of God"

God's love is the warmth-shedding June don't think, smell the lilacs don't fret, let the crickets fill your ears with love songs from God

May 30, 2024

Announcement to all!

Hillside will hold a Zoom Service, Sunday, June 9, 2024 with Dr. Susan Nettleton

Topic: Summer Surrender

Date: June 9, 2024

Time: 11:00 AM Mountain Time, 10:00 AM Pacific Time

If you are not on our email list for Zoom service and would like to attend, please email us at hillsideew@aol.com or through the contact page on our website: hillsidesource.com or message us on Facebook with your email address.

May 26, 2024

Recently my neighbor added a new beauty to his garden that has haunted me this week---a large hybrid rose bush, a tricolored wonder of purplish red roses, creamy petals with barely visible pink streaks roses, and sunshine yellow roses, all springing from the same "trunk". It is an amazing vision of human-designed grafting and nature's possibilities, a fitting tribute to America's Memorial Day Weekend. Monday, of course is the official holiday of Memorial Day, honoring U.S. personnel, who have died in service in to the country and is particularly focused on those who died in war. Yet strangely, perhaps because the 3 day weekend that was created by this federal holiday on the last Monday in May, it has marked the "unofficial" beginning of summer (although solstice summer begins June 20). So this last weekend in May is an American human hybrid creation. Of note, Memorial Weekend brings heavy travel as well as the pull of nature in outdoor celebrations. This year I have to note, the weekend is also bringing warnings of severe weather and intense heat, across the country. The rose bush here though is thriving in cool temperatures and May Gray.

Spiritually, I perceive these holiday celebrations unite in one principle: they are branches of the potential and quest for healing. Honoring those who sacrificed their lives in duty to their country--all individuals, each with their own story--is a collective movement of healing. Yes, it is about recognition and honor, but behind that is also Life's movement of healing from loss, trauma, tragedy, and the human uncertainty of it all. Time heals, recognition heals, honoring the gift heals. To me, it's not difficult to see that movement of healing extending to those who made the sacrifice, beyond the healing of our personal grief.

The counter emotions of summer celebrations are also healing. Why not celebrate life in an age-old appreciation of community, of the light and lightness of summer, of time away from work and routine, all of which can bring healing? Holidays give us the space to heal and repair. The added frightening weather warnings--storms or extreme heat--are nature's wake-up calls. Beyond our personal lives: physical, emotional, mental well-being, we are now marked with the task of coming into another kind of relationship with the natural world, and to do that includes coming into a cooperative spirit with other nations, other cultures, a larger world of possibility and healing.

Today, tomorrow, as your weekend unfolds, consider this a time of healing for you personally. As always, we begin with ourselves, the unique being that we are. Even if you feel whatever needs healing in you and your life is far from war and the history of sacrifice, and far from the revelry of summer and travelers, and you can't bear to deal with severe weather warnings or think about climate change, trust that whatever healing you need, is already active. Your healing matters. You are never left out. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/guest-house/

https://allpoetry.com/.../14326534-When-Great-Trees-Fall...

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../HolySpiritof/index.html

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../DeSpirituSan/index.html

May 19, 2024

"The sun goes out whenever the cloud of not-praising comes near." Rumi

In L.A. County, this month is known as "May Gray" and following that, "June Gloom" arrives. The seasonal, almost daily gray, gloomy cloud cover is the result of a complex weather system. Cooler air over the ocean condenses when it meets the warm air masses of California desert lands. The meeting brings low humid clouds that move inland, keeping the air cool and the sky...a muggy gray. I am a sunshine person, so to maintain a sunny outlook, I turn our attention back to the beauty of spring. Even with the grim news of the latest storms hitting Houston and the southeast, and another round of threatening weather across the mid-west, beauty brings a reassuring balance to life. As William Carlos William described in his poem, "The Locust Tree in Flower"--"Among of green stiff, old bright broken branch come white sweet May again." This is a reminder that nature repairs and shelters, even as it uproots and destroys. Our task in the 21st century is to further uncover the mystery of that natural process, finding new ways of being cared for, and taking care of, Nature. Appreciation of May's beauty is one step in that caring.

Of course, beauty is relative to the beholder. Multiple research studies over the last decade have deepened our discovery of the physical and psychological health benefits of time spent in Nature, or even just viewing pictures of Nature outside the field of known exercise benefits. You don't have to be "exercising" to be lifted by a natural environment to have positive health effects (like lower blood pressure). More recent studies zero in on an underlying sense of connectedness to Nature, beyond spending time in natural environments. Perhaps, that consciousness of connectedness holds a key to managing climate change--speculation on my part--but it seems to me worth reflecting on your personal sense of connection with Nature. I myself find such connection in neighborhood walks with ample towering trees and lush gardens along sidewalks. Venturing deeper into wilderness or the ocean beyond a beach (Nature includes both the green and the blue spaces), I find I am more of an observer than immersed in connection. The pull to praise the beauty of it all, lifts and dispels the gray.

Praise is the second theme for this Sunday. The opening Rumi quote above is from his poem "Praising Manners" (link below). It is a reminder of our need to acknowledge the good as Good, especially when life becomes turbulent. Praise, to be genuine, first requires recognition. When we are in relationship, praise includes an acknowledgment of the person, their being-ness. When we are praising Life and God, there is a recognition of Presence. An aspect of praising the Natural world is the recognition of beauty, the impact of beauty on our senses, moods, thoughts. Attending to any of of these levels can open doorways within us. This week, find some time for the beautiful. Let it light your way and lighten your load. Offer your praise. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://wordsfortheyear.com/.../praising-manners-by.../

https://hillsidesource.com/openness-poem

https://onbeing.org/poetry/the-peace-of-wild-things/

https://poets.org/poem/pied-beauty

May 12, 2024

May is graduation season for schools and colleges across the U.S.A. This weekend is a favored date for universities and colleges in California, while most grade K-12 continue until the end of the month. Today is also Mother's Day. It's easy to link these two events since mothers and school support are eternally intertwined. (Mothers, in and of themselves, are usually our earliest teachers.) This year, many proud moms, receiving their degrees or proudly celebrating the graduation of children, face the tensions of political protests disrupting campuses ceremonies. Regardless, graduates on all levels will be launched into the next phase of life, contending with and finding their way through our changing times. I am emphasizing the challenges of change as a realistic aspect of Mental Health Awareness month for all of us, including mothers, new graduates, and young children just beginning their path of discovery. In particular, I am advocating for mental health days.

Since the Pandemic, there has been a great deal of public and professional concern on the psychological well-being of children and teens in America. This initiated public and school related programs promoting mental health education and awareness, including the idea of mental health absentee days. In 2022, 12 states formally adopted Mental Health Day school absences, similar to traditional sick days, but not about physical illnesses or injury. (Washington, California, Illinois, Maine, Virginia, Colorado, Oregon, Connecticut, Arizona, Nevada, Utah and Kentucky. Note: Some independent school districts allow mental health days, and some states still debate or simply don't consider it.) Recently, in a strange reversal, some medical and other opinion articles have argued that the educational focus on mental health concern creates the problem. Having read many articles over the past few years on public mental health, spotlighting the role of social media, gaming, inequity, drug use and gun violence, it is troubling to read a trend dismissing significant factors in mental health education. Rather, what is missing in mental health education is insight in the impact of a rapidly changing climate and environment on our collective mental health, including the children that it will impact the most.

Yesterday was the first email reference I have received on this crucial topic. It came as an AMA continuing education offer, announcing: "The year 2023 was the hottest ever recorded and included an unusually high number of extreme weather events, which are signs of a changing climate. This article describes how climate change can adversely affect mental health and suggests ways to mitigate these unfavorable effects... Clinicians should be aware of how climate change may affect mental health to prepare for patients’ evolving needs." Here in California, schools actively participate in environmental awareness, as do other--but certainly not all--school programs across America. That awareness comes with the understanding of responsibility to: "Reduce, Re-use, Recycle". This popular teaching jingle reflects a phenomenal shift in American consumerism. Yet, we are still a culture of cross-currents that include denial and subterfuge, along with our inventiveness, and commitment to recycle, research and adapt. Climate change is a significant unspoken, collective, cultural undercurrent in graduation 2024.

A "mental health day" is defined as taking a day off of work or school to allow for emotional well-being--a break from the pressure of responsibility to spend time in a relaxed, enjoyable, renewing environment that brings well-being and reassurance. It's another way of letting go to the wonder of life, without the burden. We let go, trusting enough to enjoy life around us, without pressure or worry of tomorrow's responsibility. This is the way of resiliency. Ease actually does nurture and strengthen resiliency. Doesn't that sound like spiritual surrender? When the load is too heavy, take that mental health day. (Susan Nettleton)

For recycling song: https://www.fultonschools.org/.../PreK%20Tuesday%20-%20PA...

For graduation: https://poets.org/.../graduation-bolinas-school-june-11-1971 https://poets.org/poem/graduation-bolinas-1973 https://poets.org/poem/graduation-bolinas-1972 http://www.wordslikethis.com.au/today/

May 5, 2024

Today, I am inviting you to "pause", spiritually throughout the day. You might begin right now, with a releasing exhale (of any measure), then a slow, quite inhale. Pause, and a slow release. It seems to me that May, 2024 is off to a rather jarring start. This weekend brings catastrophic flooding to the Houston area, and continued flood watch and warnings across Texas and Oklahoma. Growing up in Houston, I learned to live with water, floods, hurricanes, thunder and lightening and tornado warnings. Family and friends are still there, so I check in as I can. I note severe flood warnings in Brazil and Kenya while I follow Houston's. In an odd mix, today is also Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican-American holiday that arose from Mexico's victory over the French during the Franco-Mexican War in 1892. Despite the ominous weather warnings, the parades, dances and parties continue in Houston and across the Southwest. Additionally, this has been an intense week in the academic world as University student protests on the Israeli/Gaza war have escalated across the country with encampments, threats and counter threats, vandalism and arrests, provoking further division and conflict. And also notable, May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

While considering today's post, I came across a note, in my own handwriting, used as a quick bookmark, that advised: "Rid yourself of dependency in cultural/social/material structure." I don't know when I wrote it, but it referred to a paragraph by Emmet Fox, summed up by a quote of Jesus, Matthew 6:33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God." If I changed the word "dependency" to "attachment", it would be a Buddhist teaching. Yet now, my sense of spirituality leads me to see the world and it's processes, it's complexity and "cultural/social/material structures" are all expressions of God. In truth, we do depend on one another, as persons and as a collective social order. This is the kingdom. This is the "garden". We are the current expressions of the transcendent, living our part, our contribution to the whole. We consciously know only a fragment of that whole. Whether we focus on the things, people, places, events of the world, or whether we withdraw to "seek God", we never leave the spiritual field. Despite the world's turmoil and seeming tragedy, we all live, move, and have our being it that which we name God. As we trust that more, "jarring" events are more manageable. The next step and the next become clearer.

Today, find those pauses that remind you: you have never left the spiritual ground of being. Pause for peace, for silence, for direction, for rest, for strength. Pause to remember. Have a day of Peace. (Susan Nettleton)

for poetry: https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../SecondPoemth/index.html

https://allpoetry.com/As-Once-the-Winged-Energy-of-Delight

https://www.pauljhowell.com/.../student-do-the-simple...

April 28, 2024

This past week, I was tasked with gathering some school project supplies for my grandson. It was a creative math project on geometric forms, involving picture-taking, glue, poster-board and a brief essay. There was an element of adventure in the mission to search the neighborhood and document geometry! What struck me most though about this assignment was the underlying theme of discovery. Discovery is an essential part of learning. In this case, the point was to discover that geometry is not just an abstract concept for math tests; it is intertwined with functionality and human creativity. This week, I have been reflecting on our human capacity to find what has not been known before--which is the definition of discovery. Today, I am encouraging you to open to delightful discovery.

Not all discovery of course is delightful. Finding the hurtful, frightening, or disappointing person, place or thing--the mistake, trespass, lie, threat, the complicated messes in our lives--is painful, although often, in the long run, worth knowing. This Sunday though, consider the delightful unexpected discovery.

In our attempts to live spiritually, especially in these times of divisiveness and upheaval, we can all too easily slip into a kind of rigid expectation of our path, our practice, as shields. Our spiritual minds are made up; our beliefs are sealed in defense and self-protection. Yet, while life often requires steadfastness, it also requires our capacity to adapt to changing situations. If we allow our beliefs, minds, and hearts to concretize as they were 10 years (or more ago), or even as they were in 2020-2022 (the throes of the pandemic), we are not really living. Delightful discoveries are road signs for us; they inform us that we are still open. The soil of our souls is fertile, life is still nurturing us beyond our repetitious affirmations and detailed prayers. When we are willing to be surprised, something wonderfully new can slip in.

When was your last delightful discovery? A few weeks ago, I was at the local market grabbing a handful of grocery items, including a marked-down head of radicchio. In the checkout, the young cashier asked me how I prepared my radicchio. I'm not much of a cook, so I said to her, "I just throw it my salads". She told me she grilled it and ate it like a "warm salad" and encouraged me to look it up online. Warm salad has never appealed to me, but in deference to her youthful enthusiasm for cooking, and her friendliness in sharing, I did look it up when I got home. Then I chopped it and threw it in the skillet, with a little seasoning and oil--surprisingly wonderful!

The point here is these discoveries are a given aspect of life, sometimes leading your way in quiet steps, sometimes nourishing you, sometimes healing, and sometimes lifting "the veil" to reveal the joy. Don't dismiss the small wonders while longing for a great cosmic unveiling. Whitman's description describes it best: "I find letters from God, dropped in the streets and every one is signed by God’s name, And I leave them where they are, for I know that wheresoever I go, Others will punctually come for ever and ever." Look again for yours. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://poetrysociety.org/poetry-in-motion/happiness https://poets.org/poem/blessing https://hillsidesource.com/unexpected-income-larry-poem

April 21, 2024

Tomorrow is Earth Day 2024. It will be the 54th Earth Day, now celebrated globally. I have been mulling over my thoughts for this post during the past week, especially ways to pull us all outside into the fullness of Earth as nature, as the "natural". However, Friday night I remembered each Earth Day has a specific highlighted theme that serves as a focus for locally based events around the world. In all the political messaging and news of the current wars, I had not yet run across Earth Day news. So I looked it up. With a deep sign, I now must turn our attention to the 2024 theme: Planet versus Plastic. Here is the irony: The brilliance of human creativity and discovery that brought forth plastic (1907), a material that served our needs and shaped amazing productivity and conveniences, has evolved into a pollution nightmare. This is highlighted with an increasing awareness of microplastics (named in 2004) threatening Earth's oceans, marine and wildlife, and it's uncertain impact on human health. The problem is compounded by lab created, harmful PFAS--used in manufacturing and various consumer products--known as "forever chemicals" that stick to microplastics and are carried wherever microplastics land. So there are layers to the problem of "Plastic" that settles and migrates throughout the planet and its life forms. Note that the dates here move us from an early 20th century discovery to our 21st century consequences. Where do we go from here?

We leap to a global solution. The day after tomorrow's Earth Day, April 23-29, negotiators from 175 countries are gathering to draft a global, legally binding, Global Plastics Treaty. This is the fourth round of the United Nations Plastics Treaty negotiations. The goal is to cut plastic production and end single-use plastic across the globe by the end of this year. This treaty is at the core of Earth Day 2024's theme. Environmental cleanup and climate change is multifaceted. It is the way of humanity to break the complex into understandable and manageable pieces; even though that way often leads to divisive polarization, in other ways, it is our strength. Of course there will be argument and maneuvering. Yet to meet to build such a treaty, with this vast array of countries, climates, and cultures... and agendas, in a time of warring peoples and nations, is simply miraculous. You and I won't be attending in person, but we can participate. We can offer our positive expectations, our prayers, our forgiveness, our blessings, and our gratitude for those who work for the health of our planet.

Then consider the other positive progress we collectively are making. (Here is one website's offering https://www.bobvila.com/articles/earth-day-good-news/) And do take the time to nurture yourself in nature's spring renewal. Renewal is a key word for inner reflection and one that nature offers outside your door. Your home is not just your residence. Every park, every tree, every river, mountain, desert, expanse of sky is your home when your home is Earth. Time to go outside. (Susan Nettleton).

For poetry:

https://poets.org/anthology/poems-light

https://ohioenergy.org/.../Earthrise-Poem-by-Amanda...

https://www.saltproject.org/.../earth-day-poem-what-does...

April 14, 2024

Today we are more or less 3 weeks into spring and with the added boost of day light savings time, evenings are noticeably brighter. We have had the excitement of the solar eclipse, as well as a burst of frightening storms. As I write, I continue to check online news of attacks and retaliation between Iran and Israel. Yet, even with this background of escalation in world tensions, election politics, and the underlying pressure of a changing planet, spring returns with light and beauty. Consider that this may be a good week to lighten your load, a time to try a lighter touch with any and all that you strive for, and especially with your spiritual practice.

A few days ago a friend of mine, who is struggling with a grueling work overload, sent me a meme: "Today I'm giving it my some!" It took me a few beats to process; it sounded strange...my some? some what? And then it hit me, the play of words on the too familiar success advice, "give it your ALL." Work culture often prescribes--even demands--this as the ultimate formula for a happy, successful, and prosperous life. This push to "give all", all your effort, focus, time, energy, talent, relatedness, all your physical, emotional and mental strength to whatever the goal or challenge at hand, has spilled into a formula for the spiritual life as well. But is this realistic or even healthy? In the world of work, the research is clear--regular breaks improve efficiency. How do you define, "a break"? It's not about just standing up or sitting or taking a short walk. With any of these, you can easily take your "workload" along with you. That is not a break. The key is in a lighter load. You break free of the burden. You don't carry it in your body. You don't carry emotionally; you don't carry it around in your thoughts. When it is time to focus on task, you pick it up again. The load has lightened.

This is true of our spiritual work as well. If we are giving it our "all", "all" the time, (or imagining that we are), where is the space for something greater to enter in? Giving our all can actually become a way of feeding ego identity, re-enforcing a sense of our own importance in living from a spiritual level. Emmett Fox spoke to this issue in his essay, "Mental Drudgery Is Not Prayer", pointing out that "praying long and hard" leaves us tired and discouraged. This is true for both traditional petitionary (asking God) prayer and affirmative prayer (the use of affirmation), because underneath we are forcing an answer, realization, or healing as a subtle act of will. Rather, cultivating a quiet faith in our immersion in a larger field that is a Loving, Compassionate Goodness, an Intelligence beyond human capacity, and yet, simultaneously intimately connected to each of us as a unique expression, lightens the load. As a zen saying expresses it: when you have one eye on the goal, you have only one eye left to receive the gift. But isn't it all a gift? As your load lightens, the world's shadow lifts in measure. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry and more: https://wordsfortheyear.com/.../its-dark-because-you-are.../ https://www.jendireiter.com/.../stephen-philbrick-dont.../ https://www.holidayatthesea.com/.../lightening-the-load... https://hillsidesource.com/daily-thoughts/2018/3/28/just-take-it-easy?rq=the%20light%20touch

March 31, 2024

Today is Easter Sunday, one of the holiest days in Christianity. It celebrates the Sacrifice, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, who died while being crucified, and yet, as earlier prophets and scriptures foretold, appeared alive again to his disciples, before ascending to Heaven with the promise of return, leaving the Holy Sprit to comfort them and provide spiritual guidance. Through this sacrifice, there is the promise of eternal life for those who believe in it and accept it. Within my very condensed version of the Easter Story, there are profound implications for world history and the world's future, world religions, and humanity, as well as of course, much controversy and conflict.

My focus today though is on the core of Jesus' teachings-- often lost in the attempt to update the story, rearrange, and reinterpret it, to fit 21st century culture. Yet to me, the essential message of Jesus remains love and forgiveness. Love and forgiveness are not particularly popular practices in 2024. For many, many years Hillside held a Good Friday Forgiveness service, in a guided meditation/forgiveness experience. Today I encourage you to set aside some time for an inner review of your life right now, finding the sore spots that are ready to be forgiven and finding the love that is there beyond your wounds, frustration and anger. If not today, sometime soon.

Forgiveness gets easier with practice. Forgiving quickly prevents the slow boil that hardens our hearts, and layers our psyche in a way that makes us ready to take offense at fresh failures and trespasses of others. Anger breeds anger; disappointment and frustration produce more of the same. Realistically as human beings, we go through resentment, hurt feelings, embarrassment, and feelings of insult. But we are also quite capable of forgiveness that clears our minds and heart. A forgiveness meditation now and then is like deep cleaning, rather than a quick dusting of prayer. We need both. Even in the agony of the crucifixion, Jesus spoke the Word of Forgiveness: "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."' Easter provides a door to forgiveness, which is renewal; we rediscover our capacity to love and to accept that we are loved. See where it leads you, this Spring of 2024. (Susan Nettleton)

Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

For Poetry: https://hrs.osu.edu/.../spiritual.../poems/gethsemane.pdf...

https://keningzhu.com/maybe-by-mary-oliver

https://hillsidesource.com/forgivenessinnew https://hillsidesource.com/seeking-forgiveness...

March 24, 2024

Excerpt from this morning's Zoom talk: "A Word Unsaid: Bridging the Abyss."

The idea here is: In defining and expressing the word unsaid by naming, you bridge the abyss. So let's begin with a few definitions. By abyss, I mean the metaphysical abyss, an abstraction, a space, between the concrete, physical, manifest world and the transcendent, immaterial spiritual realm, or to simplify, God. We envision an abyss as something very deep or unfathomable, immeasurably deep, endless. Abyss often has a negative connotation, a place of despair, and hopelessness, or suffering. The 'unsaid' is unspoken, unexpressed, or something we perhaps think, but do not mention; it is withheld.

Today, I am invoking what I am calling two-directional spirituality, which is dualistic, like life. Even though personally I affirm a unity, ultimately one field that is multi-directional, let's simplify this to two view points: God creates us and we create God, a two way street. There are other ideas and beliefs. Some in New Thought elevate human beings to a kind of Divine partnership--God and humans as Co-creators. Other views invoke ultimate oneness or a unity of reality: humans as a cell in the being of God, an atom, or a ray of energy. This morning, we look at our part in bridging the abyss, between our experience as human, and the content of our spiritual consciousness--the human role in spirituality..

In essence, the problem is our sense of separation. The very fact that human beings end up in search of the transcendent, of explanation and meaning of life and reasons for troubles, reflects separation. We feel isolated, alone, we face suffering. Our sense of this wondrous world, this cosmos, this infinity that we reach to understand, but fail to grasp, leaves us longing. Religion is our attempt to bridge the separation. Our solitary spiritual search is the same attempt to bridge the separation. With religion, we rely on the discoveries and ideas, and models of others, analogous to scientific models that we build on as we add further theories and constructs to previous discoveries, research, concepts over time. We layer knowledge and belief. This building up of ideas/discoveries/frameworks is the human contribution of consciousness in an unfolding cosmos. When that consciousness is directed to understanding what transcends the concrete world, we name it spirituality. But consciousness is not just thought, right?, not just ideas, it is also feeling. It is subjective. It is both our awareness of our inner being and our outer world.

Today let's take a look at the human side of how our consciousness and choice can close the seeming separation between those two poles of matter and spirit, human life and cosmic forces, to bridge the abyss. This is a call to clarify your spirituality at this point in your life and renew your commitment to live it--direct your consciousness, your awareness to it. It is about appreciation of life and tipping the focus of your vision and your thoughts, your consciousness, to expect and appreciate satisfied moments, while considering positive solutions for dissatisfaction. I am reducing all of this to 'naming'. Our job is naming events and moments. To bridge the abyss, you find and name the good. In naming, we fill in the 'unsaid'. Words become the building blocks of ideas and perception that make the bridge real. (Susan Nettleton)

For some of today's poetry, follow the links: https://poets.org/poem/song-myself-50

https://wordsfortheyear.com/.../the-way-it-is-by-william.../

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/.../the-bridge-builder

March 21, 2024

Announcement to all!

Hillside will hold a Zoom Service, Sunday, March 24, 2024 with Dr. Susan Nettleton

Topic: A Word Unsaid: Bridging the Abyss

Date: March 24, 2024

Time: 11:00 AM Mountain Time, 10:00 AM Pacific Time

If you are not on our email list for Zoom service and would like to attend, please email us at Hillsideew@aol.com or through the contact page on our website: Hillsidesource.com or message us on Facebook with your email address.

March 17, 2024

My thoughts for today actually arose from our wind storm this past Thursday. It had been a noisy night of windblown objects hitting the outside wall, and in the morning, I drove my grandchildren to school past streets strewed with palm fronds and tree branches, while the wind gathered strength minute by minute. I caught a parking spot just across the street from the school gates but the wind was fierce. Debris bounced across the street and through the yards, trees bending, signs swaying. As I helped the little ones out on the passenger side, intense gusts pushed us, almost knocking us over! There was a tree at the sidewalk edge and I instinctively grabbed their hands and wrapped them around the trunk, shouting over the wind, "Hold on tight!" They bravely clung to the tree trunk as I grabbed backpacks and shut car doors. Hand in hand, we all ran across the street and up the hill to the last opened gate, fighting the wind all the way until I delivered them to their teachers.

When I arrived home and sat in meditation, a memory surface of an afternoon in Palm Springs twenty years ago. I was sitting in stillness with my friend and teacher U.G. The wind outside was gusting then, and U.G. began to talk about a-causal events--that cause and effect are one movement and “the stimulus and the response are one movement.” As he spoke, his hands were in motion and at one point he raised an arm, while watching a swaying palm tree outside. He quietly spoke: “That tree out there, that branch moving is responsible for the lifting of my arm.” The room fell silent. In a flash of clarity and acceptance, I "saw" the interweaving of life, human beings and nature as one movement, there, in that room.

After my morning meditation I remembered that just last week we had been caught in an unexpected thunder storm as school let out. I drove the kids home, waiting near the front door. while the car was battered with a torrent of rain, lightening, and roaring thunder. Instinct told me to back up away from the trees on the curb and wait it out a bit, even though it was a short run to the house. Then the hail started! I was texting my son-in-law with an update, when the storm slightly receded and he came running up the walk to scoop up the kids, one by one, into the house with me following behind. Over the next 2 hours, the storm passed as quickly as it had arrived.

I saw again how instinctive our actions had been in the wind, as we-grabbed the tree that was just where it needed to be that morning; how we ran into the wind, dodging the dangers, focused on that space of grace. I thought of all the mornings we had driven past that tree, never really noticing it in the early morning rush. Yet, something in each of us--maybe even more so for a child--knows we too are a part of all that is green, we too belong with the multi-colored flowers that the kids love to pick, and the rocks they 'ooh and awe' over and the mystery of sudden storms, even in our age of atmospheric science. Yes, nature can be treacherous, but perhaps our solutions rest in the realization that we spring from the same Source. We depend on each other: people, animals, trees, bugs, wind, sun and moon...Life. We live with each other; move with each other.

By afternoon pickup time, the wind had settled. We walked up the hill, scouring for 4 leaf clovers and plotting Leprechaun traps for today, St. Patrick Day, as a door that opens to Spring. I invite you to take the time today to discover moments that move with the flow of Life. That movement is in you, moves as you. Life as one movement. (Susan Nettleton)

for poetry:

http://warpandwolf.blogspot.com/.../wind-will-blow-it-all...

https://breadsite.org/lyrics/530.htm

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../PeaceofWild/index.html

https://hillsidesource.com/daily-thoughts/2018/6/28/letting-go-is-trust?rq=Letting%20Go%20is%20Trust